MIND OVER MATTER, BUILDING CONFIDENCE & SELF BELIEF
As a dancer and a performer since the age of 2 it obviously takes a certain amount of confidence to get on a stage and perform in front of hundreds of people.
I was confident as a performer though as I had a natural talent and always did extremely well in competitions and exams so I knew I was ok. As a person off stage I wasn’t ever shy but I wasn’t oozing with confidence either. At school I could talk to people easily and had lots of friends but I used to get cross with myself for not putting my hand up when I knew the answer or putting myself forward for things. Being a perfectionist with lots of pride there was no way I would risk the chance of getting it wrong in front of everyone. I was used to appearing confident on stage so I could make people believe I was confident off stage too but deep down I often lacked belief in myself.
During my teens I was popular with boys so I was quite confident talking to guys & on dates and my confidence was boosted when guys found me attractive and wanted to be with me. Then in my 20’s I achieved my dream of being a professional dancer and during that time I worked on cruise ships, in shows, on tv etc and I would say I had quite a lot of self belief.
Coming to live back at home in my late 20’s and early 30’s my confidence seemed to drop quite a lot. I had no reason for it to. I’d met Tony and we got married, I had my two beautiful children and I’d opened my own successful theatre school business. This is probably why my confidence dropped slightly as, anyone in business will tell you that you can have hundreds of fabulous customers but the one awkward annoying one is the one that bothers you and you take things to heart. I’m good at my job, I know that and I’ve had a great deal of success in my school but the one thing I’m not is a thick skinned, hard nosed business woman. I’d love to be a lot tougher but I’m not & I take things to heart. My mum also used to get cross with me for not putting myself forward for things I’d be good at when other people with far less qualifications and ability would jump at, completely full of themselves and believing in their self worth.
At the end of my 30’s I’d had a bad incident with a parent of a pupil in my school and I had to ask them to leave. They had been such a toxic presence in my life for so long I felt like a weight had been lifted. We’d also had a few problems buying a new house & selling ours with 2 sales falling through which also put a bit of a strain on things at home.
My 40th was looming and in the weeks leading up to it I had a kind of epiphany. I decided I was not going to go into my 40’s lacking belief in myself and I wanted to be fabulous at 40. I had lots of celebrations planned including a party, a cruise and a trip to Venice. I wasn’t over weight by any means but I ate healthily and got back to the gym so I lost a bit of weight & felt great about myself. I also mentally talked to myself to believe in myself and tell myself I could do anything that came my way. Before I knew it we moved house, lots more successes occurred in my business and I said yes to two things that were completely out of my comfort zone but deep down I knew I was more than able to do.
Don’t get me wrong, we all have days and weeks of insecurities when things don’t go quite to plan but, my 40’s are definitely proving to be a great decade, working hard, being successful, having fun, enjoying new experiences, being with my fabulous family & loving life.
I know I’m very blessed, some people are not as lucky as me and have a lot of difficult things to deal with on a day to day basis. But, we only get one life so I for one am going to spend the rest of it making the most of every minute & facing every opportunity that comes my way with the voice in my head giving me confidence and self belief.